Cat doesn’t know what to do with the butterfly that flew on its paw.
I can’t breathe I’m laughing too hard
We’re in the village with the longest name in europe
My mom and I gave my little brother one of these balloons a couple months ago, and a few days later he said it creeped him out because sometimes it would rub against his wall or the shadow would make him think there was a person in his room.
So, of course, for his 14th birthday we decided to buy 14 of them and fill his room when he was out.
When he got back home and went upstairs we waited to see how he would react and weren’t disappointed when we heard loud screams and curses.
Then, because I’m an asshole, I moved them into our guest room (aka, my dad’s closet) after my dad had fallen asleep.
I was woken up this morning by my dad screaming.
Clearly because this is a fantastic idea, whoever pisses me off will wake up surrounded by smiley balloons.
Let the games begin
My brother ate the last slice of cake
Enjoy your shower, motherfucker
when people promise you things youre really excited about but never go through with it
Hes literally buried so deep that he cant see any light
White couples that adopt non-white kids
If you’re getting mad at someone for adopting a parentless child and bringing that child into a loving home because their skin color doesn’t match then you need to take a good hard look at your priorities, evaluate your life, and ask yourself how you sunk this fucking low.
If an intruder ever comes to fucking murder you. You throw your mother fucking head back pull your arms in weird shapes and whip your head forward again and say the anti crist has awoken whilst smiling the biggest smile you have ever made. no smart person would ever fuck around with you if you did that.
STOP REBLOGGING THIS PLEASE ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFFFEEE
let’s play Did I Always Have That Personality Trait Or Did I Absorb It From A Character?
Bonus round: wait one fucking second isn’t that something my friend says and now I’m saying it too
and then there’s my favorite: Did I Get That From My Friend Or Did They Get It From Me?
god who fucking cares. who fucking cares. who fucking cares. everyone stop being offended and mad over the smallest shit ever. ask urself who the fuck fucking cares